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Tuesday, April 23, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Facts You Will Learn While Watching The Manning-Brady Bowl

Manning Brady 14

When you watch the Denver Broncos play the New England Patriots this weekend, you will learn a lot of fun new facts about the teams’ legendary leaders, Peyton Manning and Tom Brady. Commentators will be gushing over arguably two of the league’s top quarterbacks. Here is a preview of what you should expect to hear from the broadcast:

  • Peyton Manning is from a family full of NFL quarterbacks and Cooper.
  • Tom Brady is from a family full of interior designers, most notably Michelangelo.
  • Peyton Manning was drafted #2 overall.
  • Tom Brady went undrafted.
  • Both quarterbacks have won the Super Bowl.
  • Both quarterbacks are ELITE.
  • Peyton Manning is the first quarterback in NFL history to throw a touchdown pass that was so pretty, the referees gave him 9 points.
  • Tom Brady is always competing. He even competes at competing. Sometimes he even competes at competing at competing.
  • Peyton Manning tells Barack Obama what to do as president. Except Obamacare. Peyton doesn’t make mistakes.
  • Tom Brady wins trophies and awards that haven’t even been made yet.
  • While Rob Gronkowski was out with an injury, Tom Brady was his team’s leading receiver.
  • It’s no coincidence that Peyton Manning is an anagram for Best Quarterback In NFL History.
  • Tom Brady says whatever cuss words he wants and then immediately proceeds to kiss his mother with that mouth.
  • Neither quarterback has yet to throw an interception this season, or any season.
  • Before Peyton Manning, Tennessee was a YMCA Recreational Football team. After Peyton Manning, Tennessee was an NCAA FBS football powerhouse.
  • Before Tom Brady, Michigan played their football games in a bowling alley’s birthday party room. After Tom Brady, Michigan plays in the largest football stadium in North America.
  • Both quarterbacks have appeared on Saturday Night Live and were so funny, the show was immediately canceled the week after they hosted.
  • There is a current waiting list of lambs hoping to provide their wool to make Tom Brady’s next post-game sweater.
  • Peyton Manning can bench press Delaware.
  • Tom Brady understands the ending to LOST.
  • Peyton Manning has a coupon for every restaurant.
  • When Tom Brady grew his hair out, lions dubbed him honorary king of the jungle.
  • Peyton Manning understands what those high pitched voices scream in Dubstep songs.
  • Tom Brady and Peyton Manning have played 14 times. They both have a 14-0 record in the series.
  • Both quarterbacks have never lost a game in their entire NFL careers.
  • There are no quarterbacks in the history of the game better than Tom Brady or Peyton Manning.

• • •

This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

And also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats

Austin

Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.

Austin

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