Thursday, April 25, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Everyone On The Internet Is Learning Randy Johnson Is Now A Photographer And It’s Triggered Our PTSD Of Him Blocking Us

Are we really doing this again? Apparently, everyone is learning for the first time that MLB Hall of Famer Randy Johnson is a photographer. Seriously? Not to be a Randy Johnson Photography hipster, but how did everyone not know this? I thought we all knew. How is this the first time most people are learning about this? This feels like every few months when the Internet learns that this GIF of Robert Redford is NOT Zach Galifianakis.

And even if many didn’t know about Randy’s post-retirement gig as an Ansel Adams wannabe, I feel like the note of his photography company’s logo went viral just last year. Am I crazy?

Oh cool, Randy chooses to cash in on that bird on his terms apparently, blah blah blah, but when someone else references he gets all “that’s not me” on us. Look, if I sound bitter and annoyed, it’s because I am. If there are two enemies we have at Korked Bats, it’s Dana White for having our Instagram account deactivated and making us start over from scratch and Randy Johnson for blocking us on Instagram. That’s right. Given the fact that many of you are learning about Randy’s passion for polaroids, I’m sure you’re also learning of his passion for the block button.

Just so everyone knows, again, that guy on the subway checking out his mullet WAS. NOT. RANDY.

So naturally, whenever he trends, we hear about it.

Being blocked by the Big Unit is something we have to deal with every single day, and frankly, we wouldn’t wish this feeling upon our worst enemy. Lol, JK, we always wish the worst for Dana White. I mean, imagine being blocked online by a 5-time Cy Young Award winner who you grew up idolizing. That’s a tough pill to swallow. But maybe one day, he’ll unblock us, and we can enjoy the photos of the Grand Canyon or whatever he shares on his protected Instagram page.

P.S. Follow @korkedbats on Instagram! Help us build back what Dana White destroyed.


Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.