Thursday, September 28, 2023

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Everyone an Expert on Olympic Sport They Played When They Were Four

The London Olympics are well underway, which means lesser-known sports will get thrust into the limelight as they only can once every four years. Luckily for everyone within listening distance, every person you know is an expert on that sport that’s on right now, since they used to play it when they were four.

Emily Mosier, a gymnast from the age of three until age seven, said she “was especially excited to watch gymnastics,” since she, “just understands it better than you because I totally did this. I lived it. Gymnastics is hard.”

Despite never being able to cartwheel, let alone do a flip, Mosier continued, “That flip thing you just saw is so hard! I shrieked and almost cried when that one girl, Amanda, I think, fell. It was so sad.”

Steven Broadus, a guy who swam JV in high school for a couple of years, began jumping up and down during the Women’s 100 meter breast stroke semi-finals.

“You don’t even understand how clutch that was! That’s like the equivalent of four touchdowns! That sort of thing just doesn’t happen!”

Broadus then went into a long anecdote about why he quit swimming, citing a couple of injuries and a “distinct feeling that I wouldn’t be the man I am today,” had he kept going. On a recent Facebook post Broadus posted:

Anywhere and everywhere, experts are popping up to explain why that particular sport is better than any other Olympic sport, but also helping to remind you that they understand the sport better than you, and are still connected to it on a deeper level than you could ever hope to understand, despite the fact that they haven’t played the sport since the Clinton Administration. Thank goodness they are here for us fledgling know-nothings.

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This post was written by Kyle. You can follow his jokes on Twitter: @kyleayers

Also, be sure to follow Korked Bats and our sports related jokes on Twitter: @korkedbats


Kyle is a comedian writer, actor, and producer. You may have seen his standup on CONAN, or somewhere else if you’re really into standup. He has appeared on Fuse, Comedy Central, VH1, and more, and he has written for CBS, Comedy Central, TBS, contributed to Roasts, as well as Huffington Post, CNN, The New York Times, Wired, and a really cool site called Korked Bats.


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