Saturday, July 13, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Don’t Call It A Comeback

In the 6th inning of yesterday’s Texas Rangers v. Detroit Tigers match-up (a time where any normal baseball fan would be asleep due to boredom), Rangers pitcher Dustin Nippert was struck on the right side of the head on a shot right back up the middle by Tigers outfielder Austin Jackson.

Keep in mind (or off your mind, in the case of Dustin Nippert), I only crack skulls jokes about this incidence because Nippert was able to walk off on his own power and returned to work outs today with his team today before the Rangers placed Nippert on the 15-day DL for cautious reasons.

They way I like to imagine this incident was that right before this pitch, Nippert yelled down to home plate saying, “Hey Jackson! Yo momma is so stupid, she thought Taco Bell was a Mexican phone company.”

Jackson, who probably dearly loves his mother, got extremely upset with Nippert. Meanwhile, the behind the plate umpire and catcher were chanting in unison, “Oooooo! Dis back! Dis back!” Jackson of course is known for not being able to think on his toes and come up with comebacks on the spot. So the defeated and deflated Austin Jackson steps back in the batters box and prepares to hit not knowing he was about to deliver the greatest comeback in a Yo Momma battle ever! A comeback so good, Wilmer Valderama would give him the $100 cash monies right there on the spot.

The pitch comes in.

The pitch is hit.

Right back up the middle.

Off of Nippert’s head!

Nippert is down!

Jackson runs to first, steps on the bag and calls time for the injured Nippert.

He then walks over to Nippert who at this point is still on the ground. He stands over him in Muhammad Ali fashion and says, “Who’s stupid now?” The crowd goes nuts. Jackson is then immortalized for a better comeback then a low-budget spoof movie (but that’s not saying much)… Well, until the end of the game when the Rangers ended up winning 8-6 in 14 innings.

Nippert went on the 15-day DL today for cautious reasons. I don’t know how they could tell if he was still shaken up or not, because I’m pretty sure he ALWAYS looks like that.

That’s at least how I imagined it.


Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.


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