fbpx
Wednesday, April 24, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Did Philip Rivers Record A Message To Colts Fans While Pooping?

The other day, the Indianapolis Colts signed Philip Rivers to be their Andrew Luck replacement new starting quarterback, and today Rivers recorded his first public address to Colts fans.

The only thing is… it looks like Rivers recorded this video while sitting on the crapper at home.

I do believe my man is sitting on the porcelain throne. Philip Rivers literally recorded a message for Colts fans while taking the Browns to the Super Bowl. Why else would he have such a tight shot on his face? Oh, yeah, and why else would there be a damn shower curtain behind him? Dude, light a candle!

Now look, I can’t be one to judge. I read a book one time that revealed the fact that everybody poops. He was probably just killing two birds with one stone or more so, two turds with one stone. In fact, I actually understand this move. I don’t have kids, but I have a lot of friends who do – which makes me a very credible source on the following: when you have multiple children, a lot of times the bathroom is the only place for you to find some peace and quiet. And Rivers doesn’t just have kids. He has an entire starting lineup for a damn baseball team. Nine kids! So that paired with the fact that everyone is quarantined at home makes the bathroom the only safe space in the entire house. I actually kinda feel for him. Many people think he made the video :17 seconds long because he wears #17, but I assure you, it’s because that’s the only free time he had before one of his kids started yelling his name.

Regardless, his video made me think back to this gem.

Also, shout out to Mrs. Rivers for having to raise those kids while Philip is at work practicing throwing interceptions. Kevin Durant was right. Moms are da real MVP.

Austin

Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.

Austin

One thought on “Did Philip Rivers Record A Message To Colts Fans While Pooping?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.