In my post today, I had fully intended on talking about a few sports stars and why it would be a bad idea to date them. While I still feel that information is pertinent, Osama Bin Laden died, and we just found out about it.
I’ll be honest, my political humor begins and ends with my Ross Perot impersonation (and yes, my Ross Perot impersonation is worth seeing), but I have to stay relevant, so tonight I will address something that I am sure is on everybody’s mind.
Yep. The Royal Wedding. This wedding was like the Super Bowl of weddings. Even better, this wedding was like the World Cup of weddings because it came on at a weird time for Americans and we really have no business watching it. All of the sudden, Americans got very interested in another country, and we here in America are notorious for only caring about ourselves.
If America doesn’t have a Super Bowl this year, what are we going to do instead? I just found out that the NFL is still in limbo. They are still trying to get under the proverbial bar that is getting lower and lower while Kokomo is playing in the background. I say that if the Super Bowl is canceled this year, due to a lockout by the teams and the coaches, then we take matters into our own hands. I was going to say something about the XFL having an actual game televised, but then it came to me. Prince Harry. If the world stops when the future King of England gets married, then why don’t we use this to help us get through the difficult season of the spring without football.
We need Harry. We need Harry to do anything. We need him to do anything and film it. We need him trying to find a girl who he will make his wife. We need him trying to walk a straight line after a crazy night out with Lindsay Lohan. We need him becoming a country music singer. We need him to tease his brother openly about going bald very early. America will need a hero other than football if this lockout does decide to continue.
Also, this rabbit just found out that Osama died. (This face is open to interpretation. Calm down.)