As you may remember from my previous posts, I am currently looking for applicants to take as a date to my boss’s wedding.
If you think that Andrew Bynum is too busy blocking shots to call the ladies, you are wrong. Now, I ain’t no holla back girl, even to Gwen Stefani, but when Andrew Bynum friends you on Facebook and then sends you a message, you might just change your ways. Especially if that message says:
Hey girl, give Andrew Bynum (Center for the LOS ANGELES LAKERS) your phone number, so I can call you and tell you all the reasons to let me take you to that wedding. I am real good at dancing.
So, when Andrew Bynum asks for your phone number over Facebook, you do it. But I will say, after looking over some of the photos he sent me to convince me that he was the man of my dreams, I think I have to say no.
Now, this was the first picture that Andrew sent me.
I was like, yes, get your ticket to Nashville.
And your ticket to be my boyfriend.
Then he wanted me to see who his best friend is.
I hate to break it to you, but the Kobe’s does not impress me much.
Kobe may or may not have raped someone and he constantly looks as if he’s constipated.
And what is he even doing in that picture?
Whistling while he works?
He wanted me to know his various dancing styles.
1. The Upside-down slip and slide.
(this was fairly impressive, but I held it together to keep him guessing, as all of us ladies should do)
2. The Almost Made It To Retirement Running Man
(Much less impressed, but as all good examples go, I needed a third)
3. And this one is just called Blocking.
If you can’t control your blocking, people aren’t going to be able to get to the punch bowl.
Other people won’t be able to dance with me.
And let’s be honest, I am mainly concerned that he will block me from all of my photo booth pictures.
This was the picture that Andrew Bynum sent me after I said…
Well Mr. Bynum, Thank you for your interest. Ms. McGown will be in touch with you in three to five business days.
If Rhianna wants to have a Twitter battle with me over him though, I will take that into consideration. As I heard that Michael Jackson once said, “No publicity is bad publicity.” Plus, I wouldn’t mind a few more Twitter followers.
• • •
This post is a part of our bi-weekly The Ladies Room posts for Korked Bats.
As always, be sure to follow Korked Bats and our up-to-the-minute sports jokes: @korkedbats