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Confessions From The Ladies Room

Ladies-

I have made the mistake in the past of liking teams based on the guy I was dating. Or fine… wishing I was dating.

For example:

I liked the Chicago Bulls in the third grade because my super cute fifth grade boyfriend looked just like white Michael Jordan when he played basketball. Mainly because he stuck his tongue out when he went in for lay-ups.

When he decided to start dating someone his own age, or as I remember it, a girl with boobs, I decided that I HATED the Bulls.

Next example:

My college boyfriend really liked the Seattle Seahawks. It was like the one year that the Seahawks made it into the Super Bowl. We broke up before the Super Bowl because he “just didn’t think we were compatible.” When the Seahawks lost, I just smiled to myself while he was somewhere crying the blue and green paint off of his pathetic face.

Last example (not because I am out of boyfriend stories, don’t even worry):

My latest boyfriend really liked the New York Yankees. He wasn’t even from New York. Anyway, here we are dating our brains out. I was like, “maybe this is the one.” Ladies, I had even started wearing a New York Yankees hat. Whenever you start getting sports team clothing, you know it means commitment. We even WENT TO A GAME. A YANKEES GAME. I started to know the lineup and who was having a good season and who was having a less than good season. I was emotionally invested. Then he called me and was like, “I am emotionally attracted to someone else.” And I was like, “Yeah right. Get out of here.”

Now here I am mad as a hornet that the New York Yankees are doing well again, and I just want them to lose already.

I am telling you these heart wrenching stories to keep you from making the same mistakes I have made. If you like the Tennessee Titans, don’t do it because a cute boy does. Do it because it’s where you live or because you look really good in blue. (Or just don’t do it in general. They’re pretty bad.) If you like the New York Jets or Giants, do it because they have good looking players. If you like Auburn or Alabama, do it because you like yelling random things that don’t make sense to anyone else, but make you feel like you’re apart of a war or battle.

I hope this has been helpful. xo.

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This post is a part of our bi-weekly The Ladies Room posts for Korked Bats.

Follow The Ladies Room on Twitter: @KBLadiesRoom – Or follow Erin, TLR writer: @erinmcgown

As always, be sure to follow Korked Bats and our up-to-the-minute sports jokes: @korkedbats

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