Sunday, April 21, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Colton Underwood Is The First Bachelor To Have Coronavirus

Colton Underwood has coronavirus.

Pretty creative way to tell everyone you eat healthy and workout every day.

Welp. There it is. The first person in The Bachelor universe to get diagnosed with coronavirus. We knew it was coming, but it’s still surprising. العاب تربح مال Especially with who caught it first. I mean, sure, Colton probably had his shirt off more than any Bachelor in history. سباق خيل He also took – by far – the most amount of outdoor showers than any Bachelor anyone in history. And I’m sure that fact didn’t stop once cameras stopped following him. I’m no doctor, but I assume having your shirt off and/or showering outside makes you much more susceptible to this virus than other people. So am I surprised? Not entirely.

But if you had me guess which Bachelor would get COVID-19 first, I would’ve guessed either Juan Pablo or Peter the Pilot. Juan Pablo mainly because he probably doesn’t even know there’s a global pandemic right now. He’s probably at a nightclub as we speak, dancing alone to an EDM remix of an Enrique Iglesias song.

Peter the Pilot because the COVID is 19 and we all know how much he likes things that age. Plus, he’s a doofus.

But nope, it was Colton. Arguably the most athletic Bachelor – sorry, Arie, racecar drivers don’t count. It’s crazy to hear him say he can’t even walk up a flight of steps without getting winded, so imagine how he feels when jumping fences.

Get well soon, Colton, and stay safe, people. If for no other reason just to end this virus and get The Bachelorette to get filming, because this whole Listen To Your Heart show will be fine, but in the terms of feasting it will be a bag of airline pretzels compared to the steak that is Bachelor/Bachelorette.


Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.


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