Chiefs Open For Options at DT, As Long As It’s A Fat Guy Named Shaun

The AFC West Champion Kansas City Chiefs are not resting this off-season. They’ve already starting making some big moves, especially amongst their big men.

“Any position is open to competition. For instance, anyone could start next year at Defensive Tackle for us,” said head coach Todd Haley, “as long as it’s a fat guy named Shaun.”

Both current DT Shaun Smith and free agent Shaun Rogers are vying for a spot on the D-Line.

“Yeah, we’re really looking at anybody,” chimed in Chiefs GM Scott Pioli, “who is a fat guy named Shaun. With a ‘u.'”

Korked Bats asked Coach Haley if he had a preference between Rogers and Smith:

“Eh, not really. Those types of people all look the same, anyways.”

“Fat people, I mean,” Haley followed, to seem less racist.

When asked if he had anyone else in mind, Pioli rebutted, “Is that fat guy from Shaun of the Dead named Shaun?”


Kyle is a comedian writer, actor, and producer. You may have seen his standup on CONAN, or somewhere else if you’re really into standup. He has appeared on Fuse, Comedy Central, VH1, and more, and he has written for CBS, Comedy Central, TBS, contributed to Roasts, as well as Huffington Post, CNN, The New York Times, Wired, and a really cool site called Korked Bats.


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