Thursday, April 25, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Chase Briscoe Going Full Mario Kart Actually Had Me Invested In NASCAR For A Brief Moment

I normally couldn’t care less about any form of NASCAR, and even after yesterday, I probably still won’t for the foreseeable future. I’ve just never been able to get into it, which is shocking considering the general area of the country I’m from and the fact that several of my former classmates had literal shrines to Jeff Gordon and Kasey Kahne.

It just doesn’t interest me. However, today’s events took me way back to the days of playing Mario Kart for hours on end on the old Nintendo DS. NASCAR was actually action-packed this weekend, and if not for the sheer chaos on Sunday, I probably would have gone the entire day not even knowing that NASCAR was on.

Chase Briscoe went full-on Rainbow Road shortcut (if you know, you know) and tried to propel himself to the front of the pack today at the Indy Motor Speedway, much to the disappointment of fellow driver Denny Hamlin (barf).

I’ve often wondered why more drivers don’t just cut through the grass and introduce some chaos into the mix. Evidently, it’s “illegal,” (which is shocking considering the number of +70-year-old drivers I’ve seen cut across the highway median grass scot-free), even in NASCAR.

*Briscoe’s move was clearly intentional, whereas many elderly speedsters attempt this maneuver in the pursuit of a Hardee’s chicken biscuit at 5:45 a.m.*

You would think that NASCAR would want more highlights and risky plays like this to boost engagement and help people like me remember that you’re actually holding an event today, but instead it became more about what happened after the race.

Briscoe pulled out a red turtle shell and spun out Denny Hamlin from the lead late in the race leading to this confrontation in pit row afterward:

Eventually, cooler heads prevailed and the two drivers just kind of agreed to disagree over the way that the situation should’ve been handled.

In my book, even though the illegal move caused him to finish 26th, Chase Briscoe came out of today’s race looking like the real winner, even if it was in a true Ricky Bobby Talladega Nights comeback fashion. Denny Hamlin had a chance to be the Cal Naughton Jr. of the day and form a true “Shake & Bake” type friendship, but instead, he chose to respond in a way that is typical of any guy with the name “Denny”.


Fan of catchers, the Tennessee Volunteers, and any film that involves Morgan Freeman’s voice. His nickname is “Cheese” and has been for so long now that one of his friends has forgotten his actual name.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.