Zeke Elliott Tests Positive For COVID, Cowboys To Quarantine Him In Salvation Army Bucket
Zeke Elliott tested positive for COVID, which requires a 14-day quarantine. So the Cowboys are just going to put him in their Salvation Army kettle.
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U.S. Army Turns To Tennessee For Advice On Recruiting
The Tennessee Volunteers have been on fire on the recruiting trail lately, enough to where even the U.S. Army is taking notice and looking for advice.
Rams Owner Stan Kroenke Has Person Behind Him In Line Pay For His Starbucks
Many times people are found paying for the drinks of the people behind them in line as a random act of kindness. Not Stan Kroenke. He has them pay for his.
Bracketologist Joe Lunardi Adds 68 Teams To His First 4 Out List
ESPN Bracketologist Joe Lunardi released his final list of his First 4 Out list which included literally every team in basketball.
After Banning Fans, NCAA Moves Final Four To Your Local Church’s Carpeted Gym
After banning fans from attending, NCAA President Mark Emmer announced that the Final Four will be hosted at your local church’s carpeted gym.
Tom Brady Drops Out of 2020 Free Agency Race
It appears Tom Brady’s run to become America’s biggest free agent as come to an end according to multiple sources. The QB has decided to end his run.
Houston Astros Apologize For Not Doing Anything Wrong
The Houston Astros held a press conference to apologize for not doing anything wrong, claiming they don’t see what the big deal is but they’re sorry anyway.
Red Sox Re-Work Mookie Betts Deal, Feel They Weren’t Adequately Screwed Enough
After the initial Red Sox-Dodgers trade involving Mookie Betts and David Price wasn’t good enough, the Red Sox backed out of the deal to make it even worse.
Dodgers Complete Historic 30-Team, 725 Player Trade In Pursuit Of First Title Since 1988
The Los Angeles Dodgers pulled off the unthinkable by trading for literally every player in baseball in hopes of winning their first title since 1988.
Dusty Baker Named Astros Manager, Revives Nation’s Failing Toothpick Business
Dusty Baker will be named the Houston Astros new manager, which is good news for both the Astros franchise and the toothpick makers of America.
WWE Announces Next Kansas-Kansas State Game To Air On Pay-Per-View As Part of Wrestlemania 36
After the Kansas Jayhawks and Kansas State Wildcats brawl, WWE CEO Vince McMahon has signed the two teams to fight at this year’s WrestleMania.