Wednesday, April 24, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Canseco Can Suck-o

Jose Canseco, since getting bopped on the head in the Major Leagues in 1993, has gotten weirder and weirder every single day. His life has dwindled into irrelevancy and he is hanging by a thread to keep his botox induced Italian face in the limelight.

He has done everything he can think of to make money and stay popular in society. He wrote a book ousting many players in the big leagues of their alleged steroid use. He’s held press conferences to discuss said players with the media with no one after they get ousted. He has appeared on various reality TV shows, including The Surreal Life. لعبة الروليت اون لاين He has boxed a few people, including Danny Bonaduce. He wore a mesh shirt in public. He trained and fought in one mixed martial arts bout. He also offered fans (both of them) an opportunity to bid money to spend a day with him. The winning bid was $5,000.

However, let’s forget about Canseco’s past… Mainly because it’s pathetic… Let’s focus on the present. Not because it’s any less pathetic than his past, because it’s not, just because it continues to get more and more comical.

“How so?” you ask.

Well, just last night, Jose tweeted:

So we here at Korked Bats have decided that we want to help, Jose. We want to return him to the glory days that he once had. You remember, when he was mentioned in the movie Liar Liar. He obviously needs help. Since his last MLB appearance in 2001, Jose has bounced from job to job. And let’s be honest, he will never find any job security, unless they’re turning the old TV show Chips into a movie. It’s no question that Jose would be a shoo-in for the role of Officer Ponch.

Anyway, if you are an attorney and are willing to work pro bono, Jose Canseco needs your help to fight his “lanlord.” (I’m assuming a lanlord is just some steroid-ridden way of spelling landlord.) He also needs help finding his chandeleers, which again is probably the Canseco way of spelling chandeliers. استراتيجية بينجو

Come on, people! This is serious business. One of the greatest baseball players of all time* needs your help getting his lighting fixtures back. روليت اون لاين للايفون Let’s help the guy out! I mean, come on, without Jose Canseco, the world would be a much better place, yes, but would it be as entertaining?

* – Received 6 votes accounting for 1.1% of the ballots to even be considered for the Hall of Fame.


Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.


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