Bud Selig’s Career Highlights

Last week, Bud Selig announced he will retire in January 2015. (Even his retirements are slow.) We decided to take a look back at his illustrious MLB career.

• 1992 – Participates in radio call-in contest, wins job to be MLB Commissioner.
• 1994 – After realizing the Montreal Expos had a legitimate shot of making it a World Series three-peat for Canadian teams, he forced players to go on strike to end the season.
• 1996-1998 – Was asleep.
• 1999 – Got his picture taken with Randy Johnson, didn’t stop giggling.
• 2000 – Launched MLB Advanced Media, which is just a guy who handles Bud Selig’s emails.
• 2001 – Learned the rules of baseball.
• 2002 – Went on a kick where he was really into the NHL for awhile.
• 2002 – Ended the All-Star Game in a tie after neither team scored in a sudden death shoot-out.
• 2003 – Suggested the winning league in the All-Star Game gets home field advantage for the World Series, idea is shot down with unanimous vote, overruled vote and implemented his idea anyway.
• 2004 – Created the annual league-wide Jackie Robinson Day every April 15th, where every MLB player is required to play with a woman’s name.
• 2005 – Called to speak in front of Congress against steroid use in baseball and to reminisce with congressmen about the good ole days of the 1940s.
• 2007 – Vacationed in Aruba for entire season. No one noticed.
• 2008 – Forgot the Minnesota Twins are a Major League team.
• 2009 – Launched MLB Network.*
• 2010 – Launched his own line of cologne called Rose Bud Sé Lig, smells like authentic MLB dirt.
• 2011 – Hired Joe Torre to do everything for him.
• 2012 – Refused to implement instant replay into MLB, but did implement instant coffee into MLB headquarters after his great grandchildren got him a Keurig for Christmas.
• 2013 – Announced his retirement in the newspaper.
• 2013 – Announced his retirement again through media people actually read.
• 2013 – Shot a “really cool” Harlem Shake video to premier at his retirement party in January 2015.

* – we assume, still can’t find it on the channel guide.

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This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

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