Saturday, May 25, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

BREAKING NEWS: People On Facebook Need To Chill The Hell Out

Hey yo, come get your parents.

Recently, we’ve been posting more Chiefs content on the blog, thanks to our guys Kenny and MOB – both of whom are massive Chiefs fans. It’s been great because Chiefs Kingdom runs strong. It’s always been a solid fan base – even in the Brodie Croyle and Tyler Thigpen days – but lately, it’s been injected with steroids. A steroid named Mahomes. So when we share our Chiefs content on socials, it does pretty well on Twitter and Instagram, but gets a ton of engagement on Facebook. Take last week for example. MOB wrote a great post directed at doom-and-gloom Chiefs fans who were down-and-out after the Chiefs lost to the Colts. (I mean, losing to the Colts is pretty bad, but still, they’re the Chiefs). But when we posted this blog – entitled It’s Time To Call It What It Is: The Chiefs Are Done – to Facebook, it was apparent to see who merely read the headline and didn’t click on the link.

Look, I’m not singling out Chiefs fans here. This isn’t a Chiefs fan thing. It’s an every fan base thing. Hell, Titans fans are the same way. I see the comments they make on Facebook. In fact, it’s not even an NFL fan thing. It’s a “people who spend too much time on Facebook” thing. Because it happened again this week, with a blog I thought would be much more accepted. I thought Kenny wrote a funny blog this week about the interaction between Brady and Mahomes at the end of Sunday Night Football. You should check it out.

Kenny is a diehard Chiefs fan. But he’s one of those Chiefs fans with a sense of humor. And it appears the Chiefs fans on Facebook are just Chiefs fans… with poles up their asses.

The comments on his blog went just about as you’d expect. Overly sensitive and defensive. Our blog’s motto is don’t take us or anything we do too seriously, and the following is an example of people who did the exact opposite.

As you’ll see, hashtag respect was thrown around a lot in these comments. Like, A LOT.

First off, tell the man who taught you that we said thank you for his service. Second, does this qualify as a #humblebrag?

These comments just reek of St. Louis Cardinal. Just creating narratives around their favorite team to make them feel far superior. Is Mahomes the best quarterback in the sport? You betcha! Did Brady up and move his entire life and specifically go to an NFC team because he “couldn’t beat Mahomes” even though he already did in both the AFC Championship and Super Bowl? No. Also, the “…if he was ever on it” was a nice epilogue of this comment. Was Brady ever even on the throne for NFL quarterbacks? People are asking! And by people, I mean Kirk.

Dylan might hate Korked Bats more than Randy Johnson. But per his profile pic, he’s a Mets fan, so he’s probably just going through one right now. Don’t take your frustrations out on us, Dylan!

Love Cory. He’s the only guy who gets it. And he’s fighting our battles for us. You’re a true cool kid, Cory. Thank you for trying to explain to people that the giant KORKED BATS: THAT FUNNY SPORTS BLOG banner at the top page is meant to inform visitors of our website that this is a funny sports blog. Maybe we should make it even bigger?

There goes Cory, again, being our only alli in this Facebook fight.

Cory’s even got jokes! Cory is our new best friend.

Probably the first time anyone has referred to our blog as “media.”

I’m gonna be honest, I have no idea what this comment means.

“This writer” literally lives in Texas.

But probably the fieriest of takes came from Jill. I’d encourage you to take cover in a bomb shelter before reading this.

Damn, Jill.

Who would’ve ever expected someone as sweet looking as Jill to have such hatred and disdain against Tom Brady? Not me.

And if you think it stopped with these comments, it didn’t. We racked up over TWO-HUNDRED (200!) more comments just like this, wanting to preach the fact that saying YES SIR is a sign of respect and/or there is no sense of humor on Facebook. Look, let the moral of this entire lesson be: don’t take everything you see on the internet to be so literal and serious. Especially if you see a giant banner on the top of the site that says as much.


(or the other socials, like Instagram and Twitter)


Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.