Saturday, June 22, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

BREAKING NEWS: ‘Jeopardy!’ Contestants Still Don’t Know Anything About Sports

You might wanna sit down for this, but Jeopardy! contestants still don’t know anything about sports.

Not the worst guess in the world. Cubs were coined the loveable losers. The Phillies were just losers. I’ll give these dweebs that one.

Transfer portal, you morons! Again, kinda hard for someone who hasn’t taken their noses out of 1600’s French Literature in the last five years as the portal is a fairly new concept in college athletics. But that’s not all!

Durant?! That’s all you got? Woof. That’s brutal. And maybe slightly racist? People are asking. But damn. These folks are stupid! Now look, was this blog solely written to make fun of NERDS! Who’s to say really? But yes. Yes, it was. “Austin, it’s 2024. Bullying isn’t cool anymore.” And to that sentiment, I’d agree with, bully sucks. However, pretentiousness still is prevalent. Mostly among people with high IQ’s, who read more than three books a decade, and contestants on Jeopardy! You know every contestant on that show looks down at someone who doesn’t know the difference between mid-1700 renaissance painters or who assassinated Dr. Humphrey Boyle in Sweden in 1872. So, if I – as one of those people who doesn’t know the answers to those made-up questions I just came up with – have a chance to get one over on these geniuses, you bet your ass I’m gonna take it. So suck it, nerds! Read a book, once in a while. And by book, I mean sports almanac, you doofuses!


Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.