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Thursday, March 28, 2024

Korked Bats

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Beer Company Releases Statement Reprimanding NFL, But Thanking NFL Players For Using Their Product

Beer LogoST. LOUIS — Major big-time beer company released a statement reprimanding the NFL for their handling of recent incidents amongst its players, but also thanking the NFL’s players for probably using their product in said incidents.

The statement made by major big time beer company is below:

We are disappointed and increasingly concerned by the recent incidents that have overshadowed this NFL season. We are not yet satisfied with the league’s handling of behaviors that so clearly go against our own company culture and moral code. We have shared our concerns and expectations with the league.

However, we would like to thank the players involved in the aforementioned incidents for probably using our product before, during, and after their respective incidents. We seek to provide only the best tasting beer for our customers’s pursuit to get as drunk as possible. So please, continue to make us the unofficial beer of your DUI, DWI, domestic assault, child spankings, illegal goalpost dunks, etc.

Please drink responsibly.

A spokesman for major big-time beer company also explained that the company is looking to cut costs wherever possible so they can expand into new corporate opportunities. “In short,” Major big-time beer company spokesman said. “We’re just looking to save some coin so our company softball team can get new jerseys.”

NFL representatives could not be reached for comment, and probably won’t acknowledge this statement until they see a video of it.

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This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

Also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats

Austin

Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.

Austin

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