fbpx

Athletes Planking

Over time there have been many fads that were popular in America. You know, things like Rubik’s Cubes, Troll Dolls, Pogs, being a Real House Wife of a certain city, Furbies, starring in a reality TV show about being a Real House Wife of a certain city, Frisbees, the Bills losing Super Bowls, Tamagotchis, locking out your professional sports league, and now, planking.

What is planking you ask? It’s the act of making your body as stiff as a plank and doing said act in various locations. Who started planking? We don’t know. Some Biblical scholars claim it was Matthew. Some Biblical non-scholars claim it was Jesus. Other just regular scholars claim they have no idea what planking is, because they’ve been too busy studying in the library. Nerds. Regardless of who it was that started this, it’s sweeping the nation faster than a LeBron James NBA Finals joke in a chain email that you’ll probably soon be receiving, again, via your uncle from Cleveland.

We’re not here to get into the details of planking (not like there are any, you just lie on things). We’re just here to share with you various plank jobs by athletes that have picked up on the fad.

Take Gilbert Arenas for example. When Gilbert’s not busy bringing guns into team practice, you can find him doing other activities.

Activities like working hard in the weight room.

But you must make sure you get some cardio into your workout, too.

After a tough workout, you want to make sure to relax and cool down with a nice swim.

However, Gilbert isn’t the only athlete that brings planking into his everyday schedule. Other athletes do it, too. In fact, after athletes workout, they usually want to grab a Powerade.

Now normally, players would go to work after their morning workout, but since nearly every sport these days is locked out, athletes have been forced to find other jobs to make ends meet. Some athletes work as pilots.

Some athletes are bell boys.

Other athletes work construction.

Some athletes give piano lessons.

And others just work as toll booth operators.

Obviously by these pictures, you can tell that these guys work extremely hard at their new jobs. So as you might guess, around lunchtime, they get really hungry. So they head to their favorite lunch spots to enjoy a delicious break.

Then they go inside and place their order.

Not to be rude or anything, but they could probably get their food a lot faster if the employees at their favorite lunch spots weren’t constantly on their cell phones. But I digress. After a hearty fast food meal, it’s always good to treat yourself with a nice dessert, which is exactly what a lot of athletes do.

After lunch, athletes head back to work to finish out their work day. Then right when work ends, they slide down the tail of their brontosaurus, hop in their cars, and drive home.

Some of them drive so fast, you’d mistake them for race car drivers.

After getting home, they invite some friends over to play skeeball on their row of skeeball machines. Because all professional athletes have a row of skeeball machines in their house.

But as we all know from our days of sleazy skating parties at that skating rink near the airport, skeeball can is really tiring. So these athletes usually take naps.

By the time these athletes usually wake up from their naps, it’s late at night. And by that time they’re hungry again and want to eat. After all, they are professional athletes, not 10th grade girls. So what better way to feed a late night appetite than a trip to Waffle House? (Note: If you’re not a professional athlete, but instead a professional athlete autograph collector, Waffle House late at night is usually a great place to grab your favorite athlete’s John Hancock)

Now after seeing all these athletes planking at every point of their daily schedule, you may be asking yourself, “How are they so good at multitasking?!” Well, my friend, many years of practice. They’ve been planking during their everyday routines since they were in diapers.

Austin

Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter (which he apparently thought was important enough to share here). He also wears pants everyday.

Austin

0 thoughts on “Athletes Planking

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.