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Area Man Keeps Falling Asleep While Watching The Masters

Falling AsleepYOUNGSTOWN, OH — With his eyelids lowering like they carried the weight of the world on them, Youngstown resident Frank Ellsworth admitted he just can’t stay awake while watching The Masters.

“Golfing is an extremely difficult sport,” Ellsworth said while wiping drool off his chin. “But I think staying awake while watching golf on TV is even more difficult.”

Ellsworth, 37, who claims to be able to make it through at least 6 innings of televised baseball without falling asleep, says he watches the event every year and just can’t stay awake for the life of him. “The sport is slow and low scoring,” Ellsworth said. “It’s like watching the Browns’ offense.”

“Maybe it’s the birds chirping or the soft whispering,” Ellsworth admitted. “Or maybe it’s the massive doses of sleeping pills I take before watching to prevent my wife from making me do yard work during Masters weekend. Who knows?”

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This post was written by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

And also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats

Austin

Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter (which he apparently thought was important enough to share here). He also wears pants everyday.

Austin

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