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Saturday, June 22, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Are You (Fashionably) Ready For Some Football?

Football Season is Back.

Boom.

If you want to be a good sport and support your favorite team because it’s the school you went to or because it’s the school your dad cheers for or because it’s the team that your super cute, but not very smart, boyfriend cheers for, you will need to know that what you wear says a lot about what kind of lady you really are.  I am going to go over a few different looks that you can think about as you are dressing to impress. بينجو العاب

The Football Player Look

Ladies, on paper, this sounds like a good way to go. Yes, I’ll put a football jersey on and put eyeblack under my eyes.  But then you put the jersey on and realize that it’s really big and that you haven’t been doing sit-ups all summer for nothing. So you decide to pull that jersey up just enough to make your dad wish he would have been a better parent and/or that he would have went ahead and sent you to that local community college that didn’t have a football team at all. If you are going to wear a jersey, embrace the bigness. Eat some extra chips and salsa and put your feet up.

The Drunk By Noon Look

These girls just got to college and are excited about getting right to business and making sure that the Freshman Fifteen is gained by as much beer induced as possible. This is an easy fall back look for the general football fan population. This is not a flattering place to start. Especially not at 10:30 am. Places like Facebook were not invented so that people could see how bad you or your tongue looks after a few beers. No. It was invented so that people could see how awesome you are doing and how in love you are with your current BF or GF. (That’s boyfriend or girlfriend for those of you that didn’t grow up with AOL Instant Messenger) When you are sticking your tongue out in pictures you have had too much. Put the beer down and back away from the face paint.

The “This Old Thing?” Look

Southern girls are known for this trademark, “I’ll just wear a dress to a football game,” move. Well played, Southern Belles. We know why most of you went to college, to get a business degree, find that perfect dreamboat of a husband, and then completely throw away your college education to become a stay-at-home mom much to the liking of Sandra Bullock’s character in The Blind Side. Now regarding that dreamboat husband, where is the largest concentration of them? لعبة سباق خيول حقيقية Football games. Where else should you put on your best, slash “oh I just found this laying around and put it on because it was the easiest thing to do” dress. Ladies, at least your father can be proud. Other girls may talk about you, but you will be the ones inviting them to your plantation home wedding later in the spring, so what does it matter anyway?

The Cheerleader Look

This look will get you popularity and friendship, but it could also get you a lot of judgement on your abilities to learn. At least that’s the way it was in high school. Also, if you dress like a cheerleader and are not in fact a cheerleader, you will be open for serious mockery. قواعد لعب البوكر

The I Am Crazy and Having More Fun Than You Look

This is a risky move. This woman is long out of college and has made life decisions that have led her to this place of subtlety a red metallic shirt and some sort of feather head dress, not to be overshadowed by her giant wings. She is clearly a fan and is not afraid to show it. Even though we are afraid of her showing it. Seriously, she looks like a butterfly character from a movie called: Alice In Ghettoland, co-directed by Tim Burton and Tyler Perry. This woman could have ridden a subway like this or maybe even went to Wendy’s before this to get some chicken nuggets. She is a woman with no shame. While this woman is in fact having more fun than anyone around her, she also has to figure out how to walk through a standard sized doorway.

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Ladies, this is your chance to be sporty and cute and enjoy some football.  Try to not look like a street walker (unless you are one, in which case, I’m sorry) and try to not look like you could be headed back to the crazy ward at the hospital as soon as they realize you have been gone for the last three hours.

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