Saturday, May 18, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Are We Really Supposed To Be Excited About A Damn Schedule Release?

Today is the dumbest day on the NFL calendar. Tonight the NFL will reveal the full schedule for the 2024 season. And every media member who suckles at the power teet of the National Football League will hype this up as if it’s the Super Bowl. But it’s not. The Super Bowl is the Super Bowl. I don’t know who needs to hear this, but the schedule release isn’t even football. It’s scheduling. And even then, we’ve known the teams every NFL team is playing since the final week of last season. Today we just put them in order. It’s like knowing every gift you’re getting for Christmas, and tonight is just your mom telling you which order you can open them in. And sure, we get to find out how many prime-time games every team gets, but I can already tell you that answer. The Cowboys will get too many, the Titans will get one (and it will be the mandated Thursday night against the Jaguars), and the Chiefs will have every one of their non-divisional matchups on primetime (and at home). Really the only thing we learn is what NFL teams have the best and most creative social media teams.

Aside from that, today might be the dumbest day on the NFL calendar. Look, I don’t hate football. I love football. But putting dates in a day planner isn’t football. So apologies if the schedule release does not give me one. The only thing I care to find out is when the Titans are coming to Chicago to play the Bears. Please don’t be in the cold months (which in Chicago, is after September).


Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.