Saturday, June 22, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Albert Pujols Has Signed… With The Dodgers?!

When I was 9, I was obsessed with Shaq and the Orlando Magic. Not sure if it was the uniforms, the name the Magic, or the Lil’ Penny commercials that were always on TV, but I really wanted a Shaquille O’Neal Orlando Magic jersey. So I asked my parents for one. Little did I know, my parents already bought one over the summer for me, but they were waiting for my birthday in October to give it to me. Well, as we were on vacation, the news of him signing with Lakers dropped. I was devastated. Shaq on the Lakers was not as cool as Shaq on the Magic. At least not to me. So as I sat in our hotel room watching the SportsCenter report of the massive free agent signing, I could hear my parents whispering to each other. Soon after they walked over to me and said, “Austin, we had bought you a Shaq Magic jersey and we’re holding it for your birthday. Do you still want the jersey?” I dejectedly said yes. (Because let’s be real, those mid-90s Magic jerseys were still dope as hell.) I share that story to say that’s how it feels with the Dodgers signing Albert Pujols.

Pujols is the Shaq jersey. The Dodgers are me.

It would’ve been better to have Pujols a long time ago, but it’s still cool to have him now, because its freaking Albert Pujols. I mean he’s one of the greatest players in the history of the sport. Sure, his numbers have fallen a bit for his standards – which are still incredible numbers – and he kind of got forgotten about playing in that black hole of talent in Anaheim. Seriously, the Angels have swallowed up so much talent over the last decade-plus and have one playoff series (and no playoff wins) to show for it. The Angels should honestly have to face federal charges for what they’ve done to the careers of Albert Pujols, Mike Trout, Josh Hamilton, let’s go ahead and throw in both Upton brothers, Andrelton Simmons (remember how he’s their shortstop? yup!), and like a dozen other big names.

I’m a Dodgers fan (I know, I know… don’t hate me) and am cautiously optimistic about this signing. The actual LA team is a slightly (read: extremely) better run organization than the fake LA team down the 5 freeway. But I’m also a Titans fan, and this signing feels like when the Titans brought in Randy Moss for like half-a-season. I do think the Dodgers will be able to squeeze a little more juice out of him than the Titans did with Randall. المراهنات الرياضية Mainly because that’s what the Dodgers have done in recent years under Andrew Friedman.

It’s just weird, because I wanted the Dodgers to sign Pujols in 2011. Things were in a much different place back then. They were bankrupt, their owners were divorcing and using the franchise as leverage, and I was working for free at a radio station. A lot has changed since then. Including Pujols’s age. He’s 41 on paper, which means he’s actually 44 in real life. I know most people will root for his demise, including Cardinals fans, because he’s a Dodger and everyone hates the Dodgers. But I’m hoping he finds a spark and he heads into retirement with people remembering how he’s arguably the greatest player in the history of the sport. موقع المراهنات


Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.


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