Monday, April 22, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

A Super Bowl Trip

“Ok. Today is the day. Today is the day that I get to carry the Lombardi Trophy into Cowboys Stadium. All the media will be watching. I have three of my friends setting their TiVo’s. I just got my nicest suit dry cleaned. I’m looking very sharp. White gloves? Check. Confidence? Check. Lombardi Trophy? DOUBLE CHECK! Let’s do this. I have to be sure to take it slow. I don’t want to sweat or appear nervous. I want to put one foot in front of the other. Remember don’t give this minimal effort like everyone involved with the Pro Bowl does every year. Don’t carry it like a loaf of bread like Leon Lett. And don’t eat it like a loaf of bread like Rex Ryan. Just carry the trophy with two hands and be sure to take exteme caution when handing it off. And whatever I do, no matter what, I have to make sure not to trip while carrying the Lombardi Trophy.”

“Well. There’s always next year.”


Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.


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