Saturday, July 13, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

A Royal Rumble

Major League Baseball handed out two suspensions to Kansas City Royals today.
Catcher Miguel Olivo and Starting Pitcher Zack Greinke were both suspended five games for their roles in the brawl between the Chicago White Sox and the Kansas City Royals this past Sunday afternoon (August 3rd).

A few notes about the whole situation:
  • Man, what a game for Royals fans. Not only did they lay a beat down on their division leaders, but they also laid a BEAT DOWN on their division leaders. You buy tickets for a Sunday afternoon baseball game and you get some WWE Monday Night Raw also. What a deal! The Royals should make that a new promotion night. Along with Buck Night and T-Shirt Tuesday, they should have Smack Down Sunday!
  • Why aren’t issues like this ever settled between mascots? Instead of beaming the batter with a pitch and awarding that batter first base, why not try and knock down that annoying mascot above your team’s dugout with a pitch? Or have away teams travel their mascots and just let them go at it when tension builds during a game? So what if the Philly Phanatic is suspended three games for his beat down of Fredbird? At least Ryan Howard is still in tact for that playoff run! Anyone catchin’ my drift?
  • I don’t think Olivo charged the mound because of the pitch that was up at his hands. If you listen closely, right before the pitch is thrown, D.J. Carrasco, Chicago’s pitcher at the time, says: “You guys put the baby in those baby blue uniforms!” Immediately after the pitch, Olivo says, “Oh that is IT!” and proceeds to charge D.J.

  • If I was Bud Selig, I would have suspended A.J. Pierzynski for his new look. In fact, I would have awarded Olivo for the punch he landed on Pierzynski. Honestly, no one in the league likes Pierznski. He is a jerk. Why do you think he didn’t make the All Star team this past year? It wasn’t because he didn’t have the numbers, because he did. I think he is just messing with everyone now. He is seeing how much he can get everyone to hate him. As for me, he doesn’t bother me. He’s on my fantasy team and has put up some solid numbers for me this season. Luckily in my fantasy league you don’t lose points for getting drilled by a backup catcher.

  • Unfortunately for the Royals and White Sox, I am going to have to say that this fight wasn’t the best of what has turned out to nearly be a brawl-free-summer. I am still going to have to say the winner goes to the Tampa Bay Rays and the Boston Red Sox. Although James Shields wasn’t able to land the first punch on Coco Crisp, watch #31 Jonny Gomes come in and start whaling on Crisp. That was like David taking down Goliath… or at least sending a message to Goliath that says: “We aren’t messing around in this division anymore. The Sox and Yanks are going to have to do through Tampa to win this division!” Isn’t that quoted in the Bible?

  • This picture below shows Pierzynski trying to get some man lovin’ from Olivo. Which I guess in turn explains the new hair do.

  • And actually the Royals have announced that while Olivo is serving his suspension, they will activate catcher Kimbo Slice from Triple A for their series vs. the Boston Red Sox. I think it’s safe to say that Coco Crisp won’t be charging the mound in this series.

  • Also in entertainment news, MTV announced that it will be the White Sox and the Royals who will be competing for Tila Tequila in the third season of A Shot At Love. MTV claims: “More fights make for great reality TV!” — Any one else think that Chad from Season 2 looks like Pierzynski?

I think the Black Eyed Peas said it best when they said: “Where is the love?”


Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.


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