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Thursday, March 28, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

A Recap Of The Bachelorette From A Guy – Episode 5

One-On-One Date: Brendan

This one-on-one date begins with a little horseback riding. But since they’re kinda quarantined, they only horseback ride through the resort. And yes, it was as awkward as it sounds. Especially considering The Bachelorette tried this comedy bit where Chris Harrison kept popping up at random points to offer margaritas, and then ice cream to the two, not allowing them any free time alone. Which, it’s not like you can get very romantic on separate horses anyway. But the bit was kinda weird.

Bachelorette frame grab

The two end up at a pool and ultimately get some alone time. And considering the horniness has spiked during quarantine for these guys, Brendan almost immediately kisses Tayshia.

Bachelorette frame grab

It was hot. Tayshia is a total babe.

That night at dinner the two shared sob stories of being previously married. It was a divorcée dinner. Tayshia said the dinner convo had a “chill vibe” which is something she looks for. See? I told you she was #chill, because she’s from #Cali.

Bachelorette frame grab

Questions Of The Week

Each week, I answer the same questions. These are those questions.

Who Won The Episode?

Tayshia. Welcome back, girl. Stoked she’s here. Loved her on Colton’s season and wanted her initially to be the next Bachelorette, so better late than never I guess?

Who Should’ve Gotten A Rose?

Since there was no official Rose Ceremony, no one really got jipped. But I’m on Team Bennett. Is he weird? Of course. But he makes for great TV. I wanna ride this Clark Kent Team Bennett train until the finale.

Who Gets My Rose This Week?

Look, I know this question plays better during The Bachelor, seeing as I’m a happily married man and all the contestants this season are dudes. But just roll with me here: Kenny.

Like I said, he’s the only contestant this season who has entertained me personally on multiple occasions. I’m pretty sure he can moonwalk too. That’s very important to me.

Did Nick Viall Make A Cameo This Week?

No, thank all that is holy. But let’s be real, it’s only a matter of time.

Predictions For Next Week Based On The Trailer?

This was one of those full-season trailers, so it’s hard to make a prediction for next week, so I’ll just say: I bet Tayshia goes on a couple one-on-one dates, while some more tension builds back in the house. Mainly because one guy had the audacity to call Tayshia a “smokeshow.” Lol. Gah, I’m gonna love this season.

Thanks for reading!

Austin

Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.

Austin

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