A Recap Of The Bachelorette From A Guy – Episode 5

Tayshia!

If you’re unfamiliar with Tayshia, she’s from Colton’s season. If you’re unfamiliar with Colton, he was the virgin who now has a restraining order from his ex-fiancé for putting a tracking device on her car. How romantic.

So clearly, Tayshia won that season in the long run by NOT getting a rose. And now she gets a 39-year-old’s sloppy seconds!

I’m a big Tayshia fan. I think she’s stunningly beautiful (it’s cool, my wife said I could say that). And she’s super sweet with very low drama. She’s super #chill, which makes sense because she’s from #Cali.

After Tayshia shows up, the guys take turns pulling her aside to all tell her the exact same thing. العاب تربح منها المال “This is really hard, because I came her for one woman, and I might need some time to emotionally get over that situation. But look, ultimately I’m here for love. And I’m excited for this new chapter with you. Blah blah blah.”

C’mon guys. Drop the act. We get it, you want to appear like you have emotional depth. But if a car dealer came to you and offered you a 2021 Corvette for your 2006 Chevy Malibu straight up, I’m pretty sure you’d make that trade. Well, Chris Harrison is that car dealer, and he essentially had the guys trade in their older model for a new, fresh roadster with surprisingly good gas mileage. And large air bags. For safety, of course. Is that a shallow way to look at this? Of course. But the Bachelor – in it’s truest form – is a pretty shallow show, so….

I will say this. I loved the guy who asked Tayshia what she did for a living, and Tayshia had to come up with a creative way to say “nothing.” So she said she worked in the “beauty and lifestyle space,” which is just another way of saying, “I’m a former reality TV contestant turned I. مراهنات التنس G. influencer turned occasional Bachelor podcast host.” Good answer. I guess?

Another guy, Jordan, complimented Tayshia for her smile and “big ass eyes” which was really funny. Who says chivalry is dead? At least he didn’t say she had ” a really sexy massive-ass schnoz!”

While Tayshia was meeting with the guys, Chris Harrison walks up to “steal” Tayshia for a moment. At first I was thinking Chris Harrison was going to be a contestant on the show giving this season yet another first-time twist. But unfortunately he was only there to deliver a boring twist. That being there was another limo full of new guys.

Lol, the old guys continue to get screwed over in every way possible. At first they were forced to try and date a woman who only wanted to talk about Dale. Friggin’ Dale. Then they were told their season was over. Then they were told their season is continuing. Then they were told there would be more men added, who didn’t already have to go through multiple rose ceremonies. But it’s alright. Maybe the new guys will all be duds?

First guy out of the limo: Spencer, who is definitely not a dud. Dude had piercing sharp eyes and was very attractive. Even Tayshia thought he was hot. How do I know? Because she said “He is hot… Like hot, hot, hot.”

Followed out of the limo came Montel, Peter and Noah. Noah had a mustache. That’s about as much as excitement as they brought.

The rest of the evening was spent with Tayshia continuing to meet the guys. And she gave Spencer her first impression rose. I get it. Those eyes are piercing.

Rose Ceremony

SIKE! There isn’t one! Tayshia called it off and wanted to keep everyone around to get to know them more. Geez, there really are no rules this season, are there?

After The Final Rose: Clare And Dale

A COVID-friendly After The Final Rose, with no studio audience, and just Clare, Chris and Dale talking it out in a living room. Not sure how I felt about it, because for one, we didn’t get the awkward cut aways to random audience members reacting to the things being said, but on the other hand, we also didn’t get piercing stares from Peter The Pilot’s mom, Barb.

Anyway, this part of the show was almost as boring as Dale’s personality. The only big thing was Chris grilling them one more time if they communicated prior to the show – because you know, why else would you get engaged after like two days? And to that they answered that they did communicate.

No, I’m kidding. They denied it more. Like I said, pretty boring.

But Chris did ask about having kids, which Dale tried to move past without answering. Clare was all for having kids right away. I get it. Biological clocks and all. But Dale was like, let’s just get married first, ok, lady?

Good luck trying to slow down that train, Dale.

Let’s get back to Tayshia!

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