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A Recap Of The Bachelorette From A Guy – Episode 5

We’re back.

This week’s recap is longer than normal, because I’m kinda playing ketchup a bit. But it’s a must(ard) read. Please don’t let those awful puns dictate whether or not you read this recap. I promise, the rest of this recap is a lot better.

Preface

I’ve been writing these recaps (from a guy) off-and-on for about 5 or 6 years now. Not to brag. It’s bounced around from various websites, but now fixated here on Korked Bats. This is my first recap of this season, and yes, I know I’m late to the party, but just consider me the Tayshia of recappers. I show up halfway into the season and pretend like this is the start. But real talk: life got in the way. The Dodgers went on a mad World Series run, then I got COVID, but now I’m here, ready to recap the hell out of this season.

Now, many (simple-minded) people are probably asking, “Why are you writing about The Bachelorette on a sports blog?” I imagine this hypothetical question is being asked from hypothetical men. لعبة عجلة النقود So if you’re still asking that in 2020, first off, congrats on holding strong. If nothing has breached your masculinity by now, I doubt anything ever will. Keep eating well done steak, chugging gasoline and growing hair on your chest, bro. But to answer the question, you could argue The Bachelor/Bachelorette is sports. It’s a competition, people cheer for their favorites, and there’s even fantasy Bachelor. And if you’re hung up on the whole giving out flower thing, literally one of the biggest college football games of the year is called The Rose Bowl. So who’s the real feminine one?

But real talk, if you’re NOT watching The Bachelorette, even with a significant other, you have to. It’s hilarious. It’s cheesy as hell. And it’s just entertaining to see these people try and find love – while also competing for it. And with these recaps, I make even more light of it. So let’s get to it.

Click the right arrow to continue reading…

Austin

Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter (which he apparently thought was important enough to share here). He also wears pants everyday.

Austin

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