A Recap of The Bachelor From A Guy – Season Finale Part 1
Madison Meets Peter’s Family
Madison showed up again after Tim Burton applied her mascara.
Before Madison gets the distinct pleasure of meeting Barb and the 1984 Padres first baseman, she and Peter sit down on a bench to hash out some things first. But they did so like siamese twins conjoined at the head, and while keeping their voices down for some reason. It was the first whisper fight that I can remember.
Madison told him even though she accepted the rose, she was still struggling with the decisions he made during fantasy suite week. She said, “I felt like you really just put your feelings and your needs and your wants way above mine. And, like, that was really hurtful.” Which you can view that as you will, but I think it brings up a greater point in this show. Often we just think it’s the Bachelor’s heart that needs to be “won,” but if this is a true relationship, then it needs to be a two-way street. If he truly likes one more than the others (and let’s be honest, Madison has been the Duke amongst mid-majors all season long – the frontrunner), then he morally shouldn’t take advantage of the liberties this show grants him – like sleeping with Victoria F. even though we all (and he) knew he wasn’t giving her the final rose. That’s really all Madison was looking for. And if he didn’t agree with her view on that, then send her home, but he does need to consider the hearts of the girls he has left. Madison told him, “The decisions that you make, they do affect our relationship.” Real talk, Madi.
Peter told Madison that he knows what she’s going through as he was literally in her exact spot last year, which is a good point, but Peter was also way hornier than Madison so the whole sleeping with other people thing didn’t phase him as much, if at all. Peter apologized and told her he didn’t want her to go and asked how they can move past this. Uhh, I dunno, maybe grab Doc Emmett Brown and see if you can create an alternate timeline?
They continue, still whispering as if they were having this conversation during a test in math class. Were they trying not to be heard? Because if there’s one thing we know about Bachelor microphones, they pick up everything. These things pick up HEARTBEATS! Just ask Victoria F. Ol’ girl went to the damn bathroom and still had her conversation heard. Madison whispers that the love has never been the issue and it’s just “all this other crap.” She says, “I, like, don’t even know what to do.” Peter answers, “You just have to meet me halfway.” He adds, “It’s not too late.”
They ultimately bring some levity to the conversation and Madison eventually tells him she loves him, which is a plot twist I did not expect after last week. This obviously made Peter giddier than a school girl. قواعد لعب البوكر
Credit them for working it out and for making it through the entire conversation without asking, “Can you speak up a bit? شرح 1xbet ”
Peter tells America that he has “zero worries” as he and Madison walk into meet his family, which tells me this might be the first relationship he’s ever been in. You really think all of that is brushed under the rug, Pete?! Dude, women have steel-trap minds. You two could end up like the couple from The Notebook, and the one thing she would say is, “Remember that time you slept with not one, but TWO other women when I specifically told you how important it was to me that you didn’t.” Trust me, this is not over.
The two of them walk into meet Barb and the 1984 Silver Slugger winner, Pete’s father. Barb was noticeably wearing her “DON’T LET HER GO! BRING HER HOME TO US!” outfit.
Again, within 50 seconds of sitting down with Peter’s family, Madison is somehow explaining she didn’t want Peter to “sleep with someone else” in the fantasy suites. This peaks the interest of Peter’s younger brother who might be the horniest man since The Good Doctor.
Bro, play it cool. It’s like the first time he’s heard adults talk about sex outside of his sex ed class in high school. More on him in a bit.
Peter’s dad then pulls Madison aside to talk to her about what I thought would be the 1987 MLB All-Star Game when he went 2-for-2 with a double and an RBI, but instead he just asked her if she and Peter have any differences that concern her. She told him she knows Peter isn’t as religious as her, but she’s holding on to the idea that he’s willing to “grow” his faith. Ah, yes. The unequally yolked marriage is always a good thing. A house built on sand always stands, right?
Cut to Peter and his horny little brother. He only asks the important questions. Like, “Are you willing to abstain from sex during an ENTIRE engagement?” I love how Peter’s little brother hasn’t seen him in months, and when he returns the first thing he needs to ask him about is sex. He probably can’t wait to get back to school to tell his friends about his brother’s sexcapades. He probably asked like ten more questions about sex, but ABC had to edit them out because this only a two-hour show.
After the important stuff is out of the way, Peter’s little brother asks if he’s cool that Madison “is big into ministry” and stuff, as if this was the first time Peter’s heard about it. Bro, he eliminated 23 other women to get here. I’d say he’s ok with it. “I just want to make sure you’re not compromising any level of yourself and how you would normally be in a relationship,” little brother says. But sure, Madison can (and should) compromise herself to fit into that family. Got it.
Peter’s little brother says Peter has Hannah Ann who is a “seemingly perfect girl” with “no issues whatsoever” just dying to accept his final rose and then Madison, who is “raising a lot of red flags” for the family. Keep in mind that those “red flags” are that she didn’t sleep with him and had issues with him sleeping with two other women what would be less than a week prior to their potential engagement. What kind of sick freak is she?!
Then Barb and Madison sit down together, and the claws were out – and no, I don’t mean White Claws.
She tells Madison that Peter is “very spiritual.” Sure. Barb adds but he’s not on the same religious “level” as she is. “He socializes, he parties. It seems like you two have a little bit — actually, not a little bit, quite a bit, different lifestyles. And I don’t want anyone to change him,” Barb says. Think about that. Barb knows her son “parties” and does NOT want a women to settle him down and change him. I’m surprised she didn’t add, “I’m not like regular moms, I’m a cool mom.”
Barb did not appreciate that Madison gave Peter a fantasy suite ultimatum. “That’s up to him.” she said. Madison bites back a bit, “I didn’t tell him what to do. All I said was, it’s going to be hard for me to work through this if this happens.” Translation: you better put a cork in it, Barb, before I force you to.” Madison eventually leaves without Barb telling her she feels like she’s known her all her life. Not a good sign.
Peter walks Madison out and when he returns, Barb was crying, which part of me was shocked he didn’t instantly give her the final rose. And when I say she was crying, I meant she was sobbing. Like an ugly cry sob. It felt like she was auditioning for Peter’s telenovela from a few weeks back. Calm down, Barb. You’re not getting your own spinoff show.
Barb explains how she prayed for her son to find the right woman, “All I can do is pray that God enlightens him and sends him a sign of who the right girl is.” – which is a bit ironic considering her anti-religion stance she took with Madison like five minutes prior. It’s also ironic that she literally prays for the right woman for her son, and in walks a stunning, very Godly, maybe too much mascara-wearing woman and Barb is like, “Ew, gross. No.”
Instead she tells Peter, “You have a gem waiting for you who is madly, head-over-heels in love with you… And God put her there for you.” Really? At least she didn’t go as far as calling Hannah Ann an angel on earth. “Madison is a sweet girl, lovely girl, but Hannah Ann is an angel on earth.” Oh dammit, Barb!
Peter’s family explains that he was head-over-heals for Hannah B., and she ended up picking the country singing dog food salesman over him, and we all saw how that turned out. Hannah B. was forced to go on Dancing With The Stars, appear on Peter’s season multiple times, and now ABC is creating a damn American Idol-Bachelor hybrid show that nobody asked for. So please, Peter, make the right decision here.
Peter assures them, “You guys don’t know the Madi I know,” which is true since they’ve known Madison for all of ten minutes aside from her crashing their vow renewals in like episode two. “I hear you guys, but you guys also have to trust me as much as I trust you guys.”
Barb then starts to cry. And here it comes.
Here it comes…
Brace yourselves…
For this season’s fence jump…
“Bring her home. Bring her home to us. We will welcome her with open arms… She’s a dream come true, and God has placed her there for you! And that’s what love stories are made of!” Barb said as if she was pleading to someone who has a gun in her face.
Imagine being this desperate as to who your son dates.
Like I could maybe see it if she gave this monologue to an animal services worker who was tasked to find her runaway dog. “BRING HER HOME!” But then again the mom from Homeward Bound wasn’t even this desperate and she lost THREE animals.
Credit Peter who actually stands up to his mom and says, “You’ve gotta stop doing this. You’ve gotta stop doing this! No, you’ve gotta stop! It’s literally destroying me right now, you push me… Please, don’t do that to me.” In all seriousness, this is a sucky position for Peter to be in. He’s all in on Madison, but his family is all out to the point where his mom cry-pleaded for him not to choose her. Guess his “zero worries” about his and Madison’s relationship suddenly bumped up to “at least one worry.”
Click the right arrow for Madison’s Last-Chance Date…
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