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Friday, March 29, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

A Recap of The Bachelor From A Guy – Hometowns

Rose Ceremony

Now we’re finally back in Los Angeles for the rose ceremony which took place in, you guessed it, a taxidermy office. No, it obviously took place in another damn airplane hanger. My question is, what if Peter was a sanitation worker? Would be making his career this much a part of the show? I doubt it. So let’s drop the plane puns (PP). I don’t need any more reminders that this dude is a pilot.

So here’s who he gave roses to…

  • Hannah Ann – of course
  • Madison – obviously

Then we were down to one rose left, or so I thought? Technically, Chris Harrison never came out this week to inform us how many roses were left. So who knows? Maybe there were two roses left. Maybe there were sixteen roses. Was C.H. sleeping on the job?

At least nothing could be more shocking than him forgetting to tell us about the final rose though, right?

  • Victoria F.

WHAT THE (Victoria) F?!?!

How? What? How? How did this happen? I haven’t seen a pilot this drunk since I saw Flight with Denzel Washington.

However, like Jameis Winston getting LASIK surgery this week, everything quickly became clear to me. Next week is Fantasy Suites. Victoria F. has the biggest cup size of the remaining women. Plus, Peter’s ex, Marissa, basically confirmed that she’s experienced enough in the sack to break up marriages. So you knew he was going to choose the Lilo in the streets/Stitch in the sheets over the personal clothier from Iowa.

Questions of the Week

Each week, I’ll answer some questions about that week’s episode.

Who Won The Night?

Bruce Pearl

I’m sure nothing looks better to high school prospects than seeing the head coach who is recruiting them on a reality TV dating show. Wonder if Bruce Pearl could get a show clause for trying to recruit Peter to choose Madison?

NEW QUESTION THIS WEEK: Who actually was Marissa?

With her face being blurred out, she technically could’ve been anyone. So my guess is “Marissa” was actually “MyKenna.” She may not have had a face, but she found her damn voice! Love always wins.

Who gets my rose this week?

Madison

Surprisingly enough, this is the first time this season I’ve given my rose of the week to Madison. She’s cute and sweetheart, but for some reason not my type. I have no idea why. However, I loved her this week. Her hometown date was the most fun, genuine and intimate. Her family is dope, and she’s a good, wholesome, and incredibly grounded girl. She can hoop, and her background of sports makes me feel more confident in her than Hannah Ann’s background in more of a superficial field like modeling.

Did Hannah B. show up in this episode?

No.

Wait… Unless SHE was “Marissa?!” Oh damn.

What is your prediction for next week based on the trailer?

Well, we know Madison going to come out as a total virge, who I’m sure Peter will be ok with at first, but then struggle with once it comes time to their fantasy suite date. He’s looking for someone to “windmill” rather than someone to take the wind out of his sails.

Until next week… Buh-bye (PP).

Austin

Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.

Austin

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