A New Competitor Has Joined The Chicken Sandwich War, And Naturally, It’s Airheads Candy
I think we’re done here.
Remember the Chicken Sandwich Wars of 2019? If you do, then you may remember it as the original global pandemic. This nation was torn apart. Not just by politics. Not just by racial divide. But something more important than the two… chicken.
Well, apparently the war has been revived this week. Only to be simultaneously murdered again. All thanks to Airheads.
Not the Brendan Fraser movie (shoutout Brendan Fraser!), but the candy. Stick of taffy (?) stuff that tasted like just clumped up flavored sugar. We all know Airheads. Well, now they’re making chicken sandos.
This feels like when Paris Hilton said, “I’m gonna do music now.” Maybe we should all just stay in our lane. And don’t get me wrong, I will still bob my head to Stars Are Blind.
And I may end up liking the Airhead chicken sando. But that doesn’t mean either of them needed to be made. Pretty sure no one in the history of civilization ever ate a fried chicken sandwich and said, “You know what this needs? More candy.” This feels like one of those lame April Fool’s Day jokes that corporate brands like to play. But it’s July. So it’s clearly not. They dropped it in honor National Fried Chicken Day on July 6.
And yeah, their video announcing it is super self-aware, so maybe this is schtick or gimmick. And/or maybe I’m getting got right now? Maybe their goal was just to get dumb bloggers to take the bait and talk about their product. If so, then I shall tip my cap to the candy that I haven’t thought of in no less than six years. But it’s still so insanely random. Chicken sandwiches? Like a Hard Seltzer? Sure. I’d even be more willing to accept an Airheads streaming service. Everyone’s doing them now. But chicken?? This would be like G&E Home Appliances swerving out of the home appliances business to making bourbon. Can we all just agree to stay in our lanes? I’m tired of watching the Jake Pauls of the world dipping their toes into boxing just because they can. That’s essentially what this is, which makes sense, considering the Paul brothers are airheads. Just know your role.
