What if I were to tell you I know the exact coordinates of Amelia Earhardt’s location?
It would be a lie. I don’t think anyone knows where she is… never know what she’s doing back there…
Anyway — I do, however, know the precise location of an ‘Ice Ship.’ Two days ago, a man who calls himself the “Earth Watchman” claims to have discovered what he believes is a frozen ship, while using Google Earth™, located on the center island of a small cluster of islands off the coast of Antarctica.
‘Over the last 10 years I have become very familiar with our planet, the mechanics of it and how it reacts to many different aspects of space weather and many other things as well,’ he states on his website.
‘I monitor everything from the sea floor to the cosmos and everything in between.’via Daily Mail
This guy might as well be God. So when I caught wind of this potential discovery (combined with this absurd amount of newfound free time I have on my hands — thanks, Corona) I decided right then and there I had to go on this journey myself. I dove headfirst into this story, and apparently so did all of the conspiracy theorists. According to one woman, this ship belonged to the Nazis during WW2, as they were known to have a (not so secret) secret base on the frozen continent. Another man claims that this is an “underground vessel” that will be used to save the uber rich and the elites of the world when the inevitable earthquake comes to take the rest of civilization (forgive me, but if a massive earthquake hits and you are in the ocean on a boat, ya burnt). A third simpleton said it was the Titanic, but as we all know, Leo went down with the ship.
One conspiracy theorist displayed their frustration for the hidden secrets of the tundra.
“I want to why politicians, old astronauts, and religious leaders where invited to Antarctica and the whole world still doesn’t know. Makes me ANGRY!,” T. Hodd fumes.
Me too, T. Hodd, me too (your grammar also makes me ANGRY, but that’s a conversation for a different day). I wasn’t going to be a sucker for any of this hearsay though, I had to see it with my own eyes — so off I went to Antarctica to discover this national treasure for myself. What I found when I got there, YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE.
I stepped off of my little row boat that I paddled from Philadelphia (the Schuylkill River current is surprisingly strong) and onto the beautiful block of ice. I thought to myself, “Wow, it’s cold as f**k,” and began my trek. After passing The Army of the Dead and the remains of Adam Morrison’s mustache, I finally found myself at the base of the beast. A 400-foot ice monster that made me shrink in fear and miss my father, and his father before him. I had come too far though to cower away — I had to find out what was inside.
What or who will I uncover? WW2 artifacts? Brett Brown’s ability to coach? Antonio Brown’s mind? My dad?
I found the entrance to the ship by the stern (somehow the only part that wasn’t frozen solid, idk I didn’t actually go) and walked through. I could hear every sound I made as I walked through this silent cavern, my visibility limited to five feet in front of me with the help of my iPhone™ flashlight app. As I got deeper in the belly of the beast, I began to hear what sounded like clapping and cheering, with music playing behind it. The closer I got the more clear it became what I was hearing…
“Clap ya haaaaaaands, everybody! For Philadelphia! Seventy-Sixers! 10-9-8-76ers!…”
I couldn’t believe my eyes as I walked through a tunnel and onto a court surrounded by screaming fans and confetti falling. “This can’t be real,” I thought to myself — but it was. I felt the cheers vibrating off of the floor, the little red, white and blue pieces of paper drenching me with victory. The sea of people came together as one, chants of “MVP! MVP! MVP!” echoed through the ship, and that’s when I looked up and discovered what I truly came here for. On the big screen hanging over center court was a replay of how we got here — Ben Simmons rising up and hitting a three as time expired in Game 7 of the NBA Finals, bringing the Larry O’Brien trophy back to where it belongs. Tears of happiness and relief streamed down my face. He did it. WE did it.
I did it.
I entered into an alternate reality. One where Ben Simmons can not only shoot, but he is WILLING TO SHOOT. SHOOT THE BALL, BEN — WE ARE SO TIRED OF IT.
This post was written by Hubb. Follow him on IG: @erikemeryhubbard