A Brilliant Idea For The 8 Teams Not Included In The NBA’s Plan To Return
Before the 22-team plan was ratified by the NBA on Friday, there was a push by small market teams to bring back all 30 teams regardless of their chances to make the playoffs. The teams claimed that not completing the season for those eight teams would not only cause a loss in television deal revenue, but would also do irreparable damage to those teams’ brands (not entirely sure how? but whatever). This was eventually shot down as there were whispers that some teams – cough the Warriors cough – did not want to come back if there was nothing to play for. What if there was something to play for though?
Cue my amazing plan to help include the have-nots in the league! I call it the Not-So-Great Eight (™️ pending). How does it work? I’m glad you asked.
Where Will It Take Place?
Might as well take care of the easiest question first. The NBA is already in negotiations with Walt Disney, and you might not know this, but it just so happens they have more than one amusement park. Disneyland has long been perceived as the inferior choice to Disney World, thus making it the logical choice to host the tournament of the eight most inferior teams.
How It Will Work?
Another easy question. The teams are seeded based off of their regular season record at the suspension of the league with the 23rd best team, the Charlotte Hornets, being the one seed (Michael Jordan’s on top again!) and the 30th best team, the Golden State Warriors being the eight seed. From there, it’s a traditional playoff setup with each round consisting of a three-game series. Also to spruce things up, Jordan will coach the Hornets in the first round against the Warriors because A) no one actually know who the Hornet’s coach is (sorry, James Borrego), and B) it’s perfect timing with The Last Dance just being released, and C) It sets up a chance for Jordan to punch Steve Kerr in the face again. The last team standing is declared the champion of the Not So Great Eight!
What’s at Stake?
This one is a two-parter. First it will solidify the draft lottery positions. Teams that are eliminated in the first round will have the 1-4 lottery positions (tiebreaker being worse record when the season was suspended). Teams eliminated in the second round will hold the 5th and 6th lottery positions, and the runner up in the tournament will hold the 7th lottery position in the draft.
Now you may wonder why I neglected to mention the champion’s lottery position. Here’s why: The champion of the Not-So-Great Eight™️ plays an automatic play-in game with the eight seed in the East (presumably the Orlando Magic) for a chance to play in the actual NBA playoffs. This will incentivize all the teams to play for a chance to make it to the tourney instead of having a tank-fest with teams more worried about draft position than winning games. Think about it. How much fun it would be for a finally healthy Golden State to win it all and get a chance to go through the East to set up a potential Lebron v. Golden State final for seemingly the 23rd time in the last decade!
[divider][/divider]
So there you have it, basketball lovers. I’ve saved the small market teams while creating an enjoyable tournament for all to watch, and most importantly, increased Disney’s profit margins because it’s important to help struggling local businesses in times like these.
Adam Silver, I’ll accept an edible arrangement as a thank you for doing your job for you.
This post was written by Gator Flint.
