(pic via Busted Coverage)
Over the 4th of July weekend, Cleveland Browns quarterback and ultimate party-planner Johnny Manziel was photographed in the bathroom of a Las Vegas nightclub rolling up a dollar bill. Now, many want to assume the worst (read: cocaine use), but we’re here to deliver other reasons why Johnny Football might roll up a dollar bill.
- His wallet is a small glass test tube.
- The nightclub he was at was out of straws.
- To make a tiny money telescope.
- Per a Pro Football Talk commenter, he was making a money antenna for his money phone.
- Mini hockey stick!
- Mini baseball bat!
- Mini pole vaulting pole!
- To perform a simple magic trick. I mean, it is Vegas.
- Trying to make George Washington’s head a mushroom. (He’s doing it wrong.)
- That’s not even money. It’s a tiny scroll. Johnny is learning Hebrew.
- He had some extra Fun Dip left and needed a stick.
- Rolling up money is just the second part of his “money” touchdown celebration.
- He was rolling a cigarette. But it was a fake cigarette as he’s still holding to the D.A.R.E. pledge he made in elementary school.
- He was rolling a cigarette. But it’s cool, because he only smokes when he drinks.
- He gave it to a really specific homeless man who held a sign that read, “Homeless and hungry. Any little bit will help. Also, before giving me money, please roll it up in to a really tight roll. Thx!”
- He was rolling it up to make an old-timey hearing aid. It’s often hard to hear in those Vegas nightclubs.
- He’s trying to find a hidden message on the $100 bill… National Treasure!
- He’s trying to find a hidden message on the $100 bill… Illuminati!
- He’s checking his pocket-sized Ten Commandments scroll to see if he’s breaking any.
- Someone said “Roll Tide,” but he thought they said, “Roll (your money) Tight!”
- The bathroom he was in was out of toilet paper.
- To snort cocaine.
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This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff
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