22 Reasons Why Johnny Manziel Would Roll Up His Dollar Bills

(pic via Busted Coverage) 

Over the 4th of July weekend, Cleveland Browns quarterback and ultimate party-planner Johnny Manziel was photographed in the bathroom of a Las Vegas nightclub rolling up a dollar bill. Now, many want to assume the worst (read: cocaine use), but we’re here to deliver other reasons why Johnny Football might roll up a dollar bill.

• His wallet is a small glass test tube.
• The nightclub he was at was out of straws.
• To make a tiny money telescope.
• Per a Pro Football Talk commenter, he was making a money antenna for his money phone.
• Mini hockey stick!
• Mini baseball bat!
• Mini pole vaulting pole!
• To perform a simple magic trick. I mean, it is Vegas.
• Trying to make George Washington’s head a mushroom. (He’s doing it wrong.)
• That’s not even money. It’s a tiny scroll. Johnny is learning Hebrew.
• He had some extra Fun Dip left and needed a stick.
• Rolling up money is just the second part of his “money” touchdown celebration.
• He was rolling a cigarette. But it was a fake cigarette as he’s still holding to the D.A.R.E. pledge he made in elementary school.
• He was rolling a cigarette. But it’s cool, because he only smokes when he drinks.
• He gave it to a really specific homeless man who held a sign that read, “Homeless and hungry. Any little bit will help. Also, before giving me money, please roll it up in to a really tight roll. Thx!”
• He was rolling it up to make an old-timey hearing aid. It’s often hard to hear in those Vegas nightclubs.
• He’s trying to find a hidden message on the $100 bill… National Treasure!
• He’s trying to find a hidden message on the $100 bill… Illuminati!
• He’s checking his pocket-sized Ten Commandments scroll to see if he’s breaking any.
• Someone said “Roll Tide,” but he thought they said, “Roll (your money) Tight!”
• The bathroom he was in was out of toilet paper.
• To snort cocaine.

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This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

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