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Friday, March 29, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

20 Ways To Know Your March Madness Bracket Is Busted

Busted Bracket Logo

It’s the week leading up to March Madness, so naturally, we’re going to be bombarded with everyone’s upset picks and jokes about how their “bracket is already busted,” even though games don’t begin until Thursday. Sigh.

However, they might not be making some overly-used joke. They might be serious. We did the math and came up with 20 ways that someone could literally bust their bracket before the tournament actually starts.

This is how you know your bracket is busted…
    1. You don’t just believe this is the year a 16-seed finally does it, you believe this is the year ALL FOUR 16-seeds do it.
    2. You picked Syracuse to make it to the Final Four.
    3. You picked Duke to make it to the second round.
    4. You picked Kentucky… to win literally every game in the tournament.
    5. Chip Kelly is looking to sign your bracket to play for the Eagles. #bust
    6. You let Kanye make your picks for you, and now your championship game features Beyoncé beating Beck.
    7. You etched your bracket into glass, but then dropped it.
    8. Your bracket went to dinner with a girl, and her boyfriend was their waiter.
    9. You decided to fill out your bracket based on the school’s football team and had Kansas beating an unknown mid-major.
    10. You decided to fill out your bracket based on the school’s basketball team and had Kansas beating an unknown mid-major.
    11. Your bracket’s teacher noticed the first three paragraphs of its midterm paper was copied and pasted from Wikipedia.
    12. You have Kentucky and Robert Morris in the finals, and believe this is the year Kentucky finally beats Bob Morris.
    13. You decided to fill out your bracket with Boyhood director Richard Linklater, which means you’ll have your bracket submitted in time for tipoff of the 2027 NCAA Tournament.
    14. You picked Stephen F. Austin to beat Diamond Dallas Page in the finals.
    15. TMZ has has hacked iCloud sexting photos of your bracket, that your bracket could’ve sworn it deleted off its phone.
    16. The FBI found out about your bracket’s insider trading.
    17. You asked John Travolta to fill out your bracket for you, but instead of writing Kentucky as your champion like you asked, he wrote “Hector Bortlebee”?
    18. Your bracket was texting at a red light, thought the light turned green, & slammed into the cop car in front of him.
    19. You filled out your bracket with Robin Thicke, and now a judge has thrown it out because he ruled it was too much like Marvin Gaye’s bracket.
    20. Your bracket is Greg Oden. #bust

(h/t: @CaptTouchback for the post idea)

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This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

Also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats

Austin

Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.

Austin

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