11 Things NBC Should Demand In The Rumored Al Michaels Trade
Player trades are cool and all, but have you ever heard of a media personality trade?
Damn, I need a cigarette. What a freaking rush.
When is the sports media trade deadline? Will they be able to work out a deal before then? Gah, I hope so. The only other important question is what will NBC ask for in return? I have a few suggestions.
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Adrian Wojnarowski
The only thing better than NBC getting Woj in a trade would be if Woj reported it first, making it the first Woj Woj bomb.
I realize that NBC isn’t really in the sports reporting business, but this is more of a long con. Get an NBA reporter on staff, hen soon that would hopefully lead to NBA right back on NBC, which would ultimately lead to the return of John Tesh’s Roundball Rock.
My gosh. I will never NOT get chills whenever I hear this song. Go ahead and let it play out while you read the rest of this post.
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New Episodes of ESPN Classic’s Cheapseats and both Sklar Brothers
Look, ESPN doesn’t even need to hand over the rights for this one. All they need to do in this trade proposal is promise to bring it back on the air, with original host Ron Parker hosts Randy and Jason Sklar.
Also, shout out them for shouting us out years ago.
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The ESPN Phone
Before Steve Jobs was putting a single letter in front of the word phone, these guys put four letters in front of it.
The ESPN Phone. Every guy in high school wanted one. But it felt like this thing came and went faster than Dennis Miller’s time in the Monday Night Football Booth. Which that actually gives me another idea.
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Dennis Miller
I actually don’t know if he’s still with ESPN or not, but I have to assume so, because this guy hasn’t been anchoring any SNL Weekend Updates or anything. I bet he’s hidden in a cubicle on campus somewhere and we’ll eventually see him in the background of a This Is SportsCenter commercial.
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The rights to ESPN’s Playmakers
Remember when ESPN was like, “We’re going to do original TV shows now.” And they started with a show about professional football that made it look like The Wire with a pigskin. Meanwhile, ESPN’s corporate partner, the NFL, was like…
I still stand by this take, however: it was Omar Gooding’s best role since hosting Wild And Crazy Kids.
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Jeff Passan
Jeff is without question the best baseball reporter out there. He’s the Schefter of hardball. Again, I know NBC isn’t in the sports reporting business, but maybe this could lead to them getting MLB rights again, which would ultimately force Vin Scully’s hand to return to the booth.
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The Booger Mobile
Please get this in a trade and put Cris Collinsworth on it every night. Even in late December. Especially in late December.
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The intellectual property rights to Cold Pizza
Look, if you’re not going to air Cold Pizza, ESPN, at least someone else. There’s no reason for Cold Pizza to ever go bad.
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Oswald The Lucky Rabbit
When ESPN first traded Al Michaels to NBC back in 2005, they traded him for Oswald The Lucky Rabbit, a precursor to Mickey Mouse, designed personally by Walt Disney for Universal Pictures back in the 1920s.
Former ESPN president George Bodenheimer wrote about it in a book excerpt published in ESPN the Magazine back in 2015. When ESPN got Monday Night Football, John Madden left for Sunday Night Football and Al wanted out of his ABC contract to join him.
The first thing I did was call Disney CEO Bob Iger to give him the news. A couple of days later, Iger called me back.
“George,” he said, “I’d be willing to let Al Michaels go if you can get us the rights to Oswald the Lucky Rabbit from NBC.”
After a slight pause, I responded, “Who or what is Oswald the Lucky Rabbit?”
“Well, it goes back to the very beginning of Walt Disney’s career,” Iger explained. “Oswald is a revered figure at Disney, and I’d like to get him back.”
My next phone call was to my counterpart at NBC, Dick Ebersol. I opened the conversation by saying, “I’m willing to talk to you about letting Al go to NBC, but I gotta have Oswald the Lucky Rabbit back.”
“What?”
“Yeah, you heard me right. I gotta have Oswald the Lucky Rabbit back.”
“Who or what is Oswald the Lucky Rabbit?”
“Well, here’s what I know. You’ll have to research it on your end.”
Now it’s time for NBC to get Oswald back.
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The people who write those funny This Is SportsCenter Commercials
Except slightly tweak them to be funny This Is Us commercials.
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Hand Sanitizer
This entire trade is for football season, but right now, we’ll be lucky if we even make it to then. NBC would be smart to get as much Purell as they can get. #coronavirus
