Mighty Ducks 4: Life Off The Ice – Part X: “The Grand Finale”

January 12, 2012September 20, 2013 Nester

To catch up on Parts I through IX, click here.

In case you’re just joining us, here’s what you’ve missed…

GOLDBERG’S DEAD! Funeral. Somber reunion. Secret correspondence, Jesse and Russ are dead too! Fulton’s gay, duh. Coach Bombay?! Black Market Hockey league?!!?! Mexico City. Kidanaping! Ransom. ROSAAAA!! “I need you now, more than ever Ducks.” ROADTRIP! Tacos, not really. Training Montage. Game night. The puck is a bomb!?! USA! USA!

Part X, The Final Chapter:

This is it. The face off to end all face-offs. The puck is a bomb. The arena/cantina is filled with innocent spectators/ruthless cartel members. Charlie Conway is at the helm. The fate of coach Bombay’s one and only love, Rosa… the lives of his teammates and loyal fans… the pride of an underachieving hockey jock… it all lies oh his shoulders.

The referee drops the puck. The game has begun. Everything goes silent.

Everything stays silent.

Before it hits the ice, the puck is floating. It’s rising through the air.

How can this be? The crowd is speechless. Players from both teams stand in awe as they watch the impossible unfolding right before their eyes.

The cartel leaders are confused and upset. They try to detonate the puck-bomb, but they can’t. It’s been disabled!

The puck floats higher and higher towards the roof of the arena/cantina. As it gets to the top, something happens…

All of the sudden, the puck opens up and a small creature emerges from within.

Camera pans down to Coach Bombay who is miraculously now standing after his bone-crushing injury just a few moments earlier. He has a cheeky grin on his face.

Charlie Conway looks over at him. They lock eyes. Coach Bombay smiles. Charlie drops his gloves and stick.

Suddenly, players on both teams are all dropping theirs as well as they all watch in amazement.

Charlie and Coach Bombay have a moment:

Coach Bombay (to Charlie): I had to wait until the right moment, Charlie…

Charlie: Coach…I…I’m confused…

Coach Bombay: Don’t you get it Charlie? This was never about us… It was about her.

Camera pans back to the creature emerged from the puck. IT’S ROSA. She’s an alien.

Coach Bombay: We’re going home now Charlie. Our work here is done.

Charlie smiles as he wipes a tear from his eye.

Charlie Conway: You sly sonofabitch…Go home coach.

Coach Bombay begins to ascend towards the roof. He’s being pulled up by Rosa into her mini spaceship.

Coach Bombay: We came here to save you Charlie. But in the end, you saved us.

Charlie smiles.

Coach Bombay: Go home, Charlie…go home.

Suddenly, the cantina/arena starts shaking violently. The roof opens wide as Coach Bombay and Rosa slowly ascend towards the heavens.

The crowd, the players, the cartel members… they all watch in amazement.

Suddenly, it’s not about race anymore. It’s not about who wins and who loses. It’s not about black market hockey leagues and drug-running and kidnappings and oil and cotton and Occupy Wall Street…

It’s about world peace.

• 6 MONTHS LATER •

Charlie is at home with his family. They’re celebrating Christmas as a local news reporter comes on the television screen:

Reporter: Today in international news, all fighting has stopped. Everyone is recycling and McDonalds has filed for Chapter 11. Everything is going to be OK now.

Charlie watches in silence as his family continues opening their gifts.

Charlie Conway Jr. opens an obviously wrapped hockey stick. He reverently grazes the blade and looks up towards his father.

Charlie Conway Jr.: Look dad, I’m a hockey player, just like you.

Charlie Conway smiles.

Charlie: That’s right son… that’s right.

FADE TO BLACK

Roll Credits… to any Sigur Ros song.

Special Thanks to:

Disney

Steve Jobs, R.I.P.

Korked Bats

Emilio Estevez